so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
