the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish my penis had an off switch
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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