I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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