this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
