Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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