Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
this is an emotional support booty call
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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