You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You need Xanax blowdarts
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
