At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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