TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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