he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you inspire me to be a worse person
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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