I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
