yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
