we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
