Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
