We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
