it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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