Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
