Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I intend to get homeless drunk
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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