Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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