My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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