yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
