I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
