Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize