She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Less talking, more tequila
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
