dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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