They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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