question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
