Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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