I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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