But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
