if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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