at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
