i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
