my vag is so smooth its legendary
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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