fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
