Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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