she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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