i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sex in a hospital.. check
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
