just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize