haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
