Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
