I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
my liver is dry heaving
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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