happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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