i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
