It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
