So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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