her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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