billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
