morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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