The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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