The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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