Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
