apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
