Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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