i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
