I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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