i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
