Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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