I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
