Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
