and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
